Grief

Grieve in Your Own Way

Grief is never the same for two people. Some people cry while others hold everything inside. Some people refuse to think about the death at all, while others may not ever stop thinking about it. Try to not compare yourself with others. No one can tell you how to grieve. There is no normal time span for healing. Do what is right for you in your own time and in your own way.

Accept Help

You will experience many emotional and practical changes following a death. It is never easy to manage all of the details that arise after someone dies. Have someone help you with thank-you cards or cooking or cleaning. Find someone who can sit with you as you go through belongings or someone who can help you talk through what to do next.

Accept Your Emotions

Death brings many different reactions, and emotions can change quickly. Sometimes you might secretly pretend that your loved one isn’t really dead, that he/she will come back and your life will return to normal. Sometimes you might feel like you are losing control and panicking over things you used to do without any problem. Sometimes you may recognize that you are really angry or feel like there was something you could have done so your loved one wouldn't have died. Realize that it is okay to have all of these feelings — it is important not to ignore or suppress them. It’s also important to turn to a family member, friend or professional for help if your feelings become overwhelming.

Share Your Feelings

Even those closest to you may not fully know or understand how the death is affecting you. It is a good idea to let other people know what you are feeling so they can support you. Find a family member or friend who will understand that your feelings are normal, healthy responses to grief.

Take Care of Your Whole Self

People in grief often feel physically weak or tired. Even crying can be exhausting. Your body needs energy to deal with all of the changes you are experiencing. Drink plenty of water. Make sure you eat right, get enough sleep and limit smoking and/or drinking.

Find A Balance

While it’s not healthy to stay consumed in your grief, it is also not healthy to avoid it. People in grief do better when they are able to find a balance that doesn’t overpower them. If you are constantly crying or in pain, try to find times and activities to distract you: take a walk, return to your hobby or call a friend. If you are constantly avoiding your grief, try to find safe times to really feel it: visit the cemetery, look at pictures or visit a place of worship. Spend time alone and spend time with others who care.

Remember

Sometimes people incorrectly feel that the best course through grief is to forget. Our memories actually help us heal. Try to think about the past and remember times shared. Find healthy ways of remembering your loved one.

Be Patient

Grief cannot be rushed. Grief is up and down; some days will be better than others. Allow yourself time to adjust to such a significant change.